Oh, Mardi Gras

It really shouldn't surprise me much that I'd be sad and sick on Mardi Gras. 1. It's a holiday, and I'm almost always sick on holidays, and 2. it reminds me of Slidell, and how I'm not there, which usually makes me sad. Luckily, I'm not as sad as I usually am because I'm realizing how much I love my friends here at St. Mary's and how much they love me (and also how much Will and I love each other, which this weekend really helped to prove).

These people are the first group of friends that I've actually believed I can stay friends with and will want to stay friends with for the rest of my life, and it feels really good and really weird that I can think that soundly. I'm only still friends with one person from the Dell (LG, obviously), and, although I'm still friends with a few of my Atholton friends, most of them generally never saw more than a couple of sides of me, and thus I can't really talk to them about my life in its entirety. My SMCM friends understand me and tolerate me and like me. They think it's cool that I'm insane and bizarre and creepy and loud. Although I haven't really shown my sad self to most of them, I know that I could if I needed to and they wouldn't really change their minds about me. It's so relieving to be able to know that my friend actually like me and to not have to worry about impressing them or constantly being funny or constantly being motherly or constantly being the nerd. My selves and my feelings can just flow wherever they want like the tide (or like a huge ginormous wave, as they are wont to do) and my friends will watch me and engage with me and love me.

I'm really thankful for that on a day like today.