Today is the 5th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I didn't even realize it until my mom reminded me (I haven't looked at a calendar in a few days). Will was gone, so I was alone in my apartment watching Futurama in my pajamas for most of my day. Right now I'm really sad, so I got on College Humor and watched this video and now I feel slightly better:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940454
Aw, look at 'em run. Awdohble.
Things still aren't going as well as I had hoped, but at least I don't have to listen to Nique on the phone all time. And instead of a creepy Awkward Charles, there's soft serve in the dining halls on campus.
So there are some positives to life, I suppose.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Not so bad
So, today was Monday and thus my first real week of classes at State. I sat in a cold History lecture, a chemistry lecture with over 200 people in it, and a smaller Spanish class that I don't feel terribly prepared for. I walked home alone in the pouring rain with no raincoat or umbrella, and my air conditioner broke because I put it on heat because I was freezing from the rain. The nice Guatemalan guy, Oscar, who fixes everything at the hotel started hitting on me which made me feel uncomfortable, and I'm getting to bed later than I'd hoped because I'm really tired but I tried to do all of the work I'd planned on doing.
But you know what? I called Will, and he, Adam, and I went to get dinner from Zaxbys, so I ate good chicken for dinner, and then Adam showed me pictures from his senior year while I just chilled. All of the work I feel like I need to get done is actually just me outlining everything I read like a freak, and if I end up reading without outlining because it's getting too late, it's not the end of the world. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a family and friends who love me, a boyfriend who's trying his hardest to support me, and the tiniest bit of faith in my heart. I may not feel this optimistic tomorrow, but I think things may actually turn out okay.
You know why? Because I'm Caroline Motherfucking Sellers, and I can take on the world if I wanted to. (But please, world, try not to send me much worse than what I've already experienced? Thanks!)
But you know what? I called Will, and he, Adam, and I went to get dinner from Zaxbys, so I ate good chicken for dinner, and then Adam showed me pictures from his senior year while I just chilled. All of the work I feel like I need to get done is actually just me outlining everything I read like a freak, and if I end up reading without outlining because it's getting too late, it's not the end of the world. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a family and friends who love me, a boyfriend who's trying his hardest to support me, and the tiniest bit of faith in my heart. I may not feel this optimistic tomorrow, but I think things may actually turn out okay.
You know why? Because I'm Caroline Motherfucking Sellers, and I can take on the world if I wanted to. (But please, world, try not to send me much worse than what I've already experienced? Thanks!)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
So, this is hard.
This whole moving deal has turned out not so great thus far, although I'm hoping it'll turn out better soon. Actually, I don't have enough energy to hope right now because I've had to continuously walk/bike across this freaking giant campus. I have never felt so out of shape in my life. Also, the bike keeps scratching my legs so I've left amounts of my DNA in blood samples all over State campus.
I've found living alone to be okay but depressing because I'm so far away from everything. I really like having my own place - I just hate that it's not on campus. It also sucks not really having many friends. Will's been doing his own stuff, which is completely reasonable because he should be doing his own thing, except that it hasn't even really felt like we're dating. I've been really pissy and really upset and really self-conscious and jealous, all of which I really hate being. Also, I just had my first Spanish 202 class, and I feel so completely out of my league. I mean, there are some completely idiotic people in that class, so I know I'm not the least intelligent in the class (one girl leaned over to me and asked "So, what's 'do' in Spanish? Like 'Do you know where the bathroom is?'" and when I said that the Spanish don't say "do", it blew her mind. This is Spanish 202!). But I was messing up preterite forms and not reading things correctly, and it just felt awful. Speaking Spanish fluently is heavily incorporated in my being a Spanish teacher.
I guess I just feel really down. But I've felt down since I got here, and even when I was a little happy, it wasn't nearly the happiness that I felt at SMCM with my friends, just hanging out and playing video games and joking around. And I do just want to hang out and do homework and play video games, but I have no friends to do it with (Will doesn't like not doing anything).
The moral of the story is that this is a lot harder than I was hoping it'd be. The end.
Update: So Adam (Will's roommate) just came back and hung out with me for a little and made me feel a little better, so I don't feel like life completely sucks anymore. But I do still miss my SMCM crew so badly it kind of hurts right above where I think my stomach is.
I've found living alone to be okay but depressing because I'm so far away from everything. I really like having my own place - I just hate that it's not on campus. It also sucks not really having many friends. Will's been doing his own stuff, which is completely reasonable because he should be doing his own thing, except that it hasn't even really felt like we're dating. I've been really pissy and really upset and really self-conscious and jealous, all of which I really hate being. Also, I just had my first Spanish 202 class, and I feel so completely out of my league. I mean, there are some completely idiotic people in that class, so I know I'm not the least intelligent in the class (one girl leaned over to me and asked "So, what's 'do' in Spanish? Like 'Do you know where the bathroom is?'" and when I said that the Spanish don't say "do", it blew her mind. This is Spanish 202!). But I was messing up preterite forms and not reading things correctly, and it just felt awful. Speaking Spanish fluently is heavily incorporated in my being a Spanish teacher.
I guess I just feel really down. But I've felt down since I got here, and even when I was a little happy, it wasn't nearly the happiness that I felt at SMCM with my friends, just hanging out and playing video games and joking around. And I do just want to hang out and do homework and play video games, but I have no friends to do it with (Will doesn't like not doing anything).
The moral of the story is that this is a lot harder than I was hoping it'd be. The end.
Update: So Adam (Will's roommate) just came back and hung out with me for a little and made me feel a little better, so I don't feel like life completely sucks anymore. But I do still miss my SMCM crew so badly it kind of hurts right above where I think my stomach is.
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