Hey! Hey you! Why are you so down? Oh, because sometimes life seems like a desolate black hole where nothing you ever do will end up with you being truly happy? Yeah. That happens sometimes. But luckily things will look better eventually like they always do.
I really do make problems for myself. As soon as one really good thing happens (me getting accepted to go back to SMCM) I start creating other problems for myself (self-consciousness and clinginess). I really need to work on this, and I'm trying to just ignore it, but ignoring my low self confidence and my clinginess makes me crave attention even more. It's a stupid cycle that will hopefully cease soon so I can get on with my damn life.
I just want to go and run for a few weeks straight, lose thirty pounds, and get a new wardrobe. And I need to stop thinking about shit that I can't control. That would probably be the most helpful of things.
I always get myself into these messes. Now I'm realizing it's because I feel the need for the self-pity from them.
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