Faith

So, I lost my faith in organized religion and Christianity a couple of years ago, and it's not exactly something that will be coming back any time soon (I think). But there are things in my life that give me hope that there is some sort of Force (midochlorians?) that is helping me through tough situations. The biggest faith-reminder that I have is my friends. I have no idea how I would have found them without the guidance of some power that I am unaware of. I found Geneva so randomly one night, and through Geneva I made so many other friends in high school. It was by some random divine intervention that Mark, Carlo, and Julie were in my orientation group, and that through them I met my other eight best friends. And when I think about that - about how completely random it was that these people just wandered into my life and that they clicked with me instead of getting frustrated or confused or overwhelmed and that they instead chose to form a bond with me that will (hopefully) never be broken - it's hard for me to believe that it was so by chance because it has worked out in ways that have been better than I'd ever imagined or hoped.
Today, on Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my friends. I smile because of them. I laugh because of them. I appreciate myself more because they appreciate me. I am more independent and can support myself better because I know they'll be there when I ultimately can't do something on my own. Most importantly, I know I'm loved, and I know that I am never alone, no matter how far apart we may be.
Sometimes, I hate being alive because I'm so worried about when I won't be alive anymore. But tonight, I am comfortable with being alive because I know that, no matter what happens, my friends will always be here to make me smile and laugh and feel loved.