Wallowing... that's a good word!

I need to stop wallowing in my self pity and sadness. I need to pull myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and keep walking. I can't just stop living because things aren't going the way I want them to go. I can't just stop breathing because the air around me isn't tinged with the sweet scent of the St. Mary's River (and chips and salsa and donuts). I've got to keep working. I've got to keep smiling. Things will get better because things always get better. That's just how it is, and I have to stop worrying about HOW and WHEN things will get better and just accept that at some point in the future through some indeterminable ways, I will feel happy, and I will wake up happy and go to bed happy and things will be okay.
It's only cool to wallow in mud when you're playing in it - not when you're sitting down, waiting to sink under the muck. That's just not cool Caroline behavior.
Luckily I have such sweet new jams keeping me walking every morning. That switch-up from my normal routine has been heaven. I just need some changes right now, and luckily I'll get them soon. My hair will be freshly dyed and styled next week. Hopefully I'll be getting some sweet tattoos at Christmas. And maybe soon a better outlook on life? That's not exactly something I can make an appointment for or ask to get for Christmas, so I guess I'll have to work on that (at least partially) on my own.
One minute before 1AM. I'm going to get to bed so early tonight. (The upsetting part is I'm not joking - one in the morning is early for me recently.)